The Grand Adventures of Draco Malfoy
by Saene
Summary: So I'm taking a mythology class on Hogwarts Online and in some of the homework, you can write stories. This is what came out of it. This might be a oneshot or not, I am quite unsure. MIght end up D/G, now they're just squabbling.
1. In Which Weasley Gets Annoyed

"You know, for someone who's spent the last six years cutting ingredients in potions, you kind of suck at it."

Draco jumped; he hadn't realized that she was behind him. "Well, Weasley," he retorted, "most of the time I con your brother into slicing up my ingredients."

"What are you talking about?" Weasley growled.

With no apparent regard for his personal safety, Draco continued "Well, the best one was when that rampant beast mangled my arm. Of course Pomfrey healed it in seconds, but I kept the bandages on for a week and Snape had Weasley slicing up my ingredients all week."

If her expression could get any more deadly, if just did. Draco wisely decided to keep his mouth shut about the times he straight out stole Weasley's cut up roots.

"Why the hell am I cutting up carrots for you anyways?"

"Because if you are going to keep following me around, you'd better be useful. You can leave if you want."

Draco was distract once again by the house elves cowering in the corner,"I couldn't do that. Snape told to tutor you in potions or he'd drop my grade." He didn't add that following her around was hilarious. He threw the knife down on the cutting board, "Why don't you just ask the house elves for whatever you want. This is degrading."

He watched as she became more angry, "Because that would defeat the whole point. It's not about the food, it's about the process."

"For someone who seems to cook so much, you'd think you'd be better at potions."

With that, Weasley exploded, "They're completely different! I don't have to worry about killing myself every time I add a new ingredient to soup."

"Well, that's what a recipe is for," he replied smugly.

"You... you..." with a loud screech, the red head turned her back on him and stormed out of the room. Draco paused a moment as the house elves began to scurry out of their hiding places to take back the kitchen before following her. Knowing Weasleys, she had probably gone mad and was off to kill first years.

After a bit of chasing, it became clear to Draco that Weasley's destination was most likely Snape's office. That meant she wouldn't be getting into too much trouble except that Snape would berate her for at least twenty minutes.

Draco should have recognized the closed classroom door as a bad sign. Snape rarely closed the classroom door unless he had a class or didn't want students to come in. He did, however, recognize the closed office door for what it was.

"Stop, Weasley!" he ordered her. The girl just gave him a disdainful look as she hurried into the office.

He clearly saw every thing as it happened, but he couldn't stop it. Draco watched as Snape startled to see the clumsy red head stumble through the door he spilled whatever he was measuring straight into the potion he was working on. Draco hadn't realized that Ginny had stopped and started speaking, "Professor, I can't stand working with Mal-" when he bumped into her and she bumped into Snape.

Draco wasn't sure what happened next, but one moment they were in Snape's office and the next they were in some sort of cave.

"You idiotic girl," Snape turned to Weasley, "have you taken leave of your senses! You're lucky I wasn't working on something that exploded." He continued on this line of thought for awhile, and although Draco agreed with berating Weasley, he interrupted the man.

"What were you working on, Professor?"

"A potion for Professor Dumbledore," Snape told the two, "it was supposed to be similar to a Pensieve, only instead of working on one person's memory, it would work on stories."

Draco didn't fully understand but it seemed that Weasley did, because she asked hesitantly, "So that you could find out the rumors about You-Know-Who? For the Order?"

Snape looked faintly surprised, as if he hadn't expected her to understand. This was usual for Snape, since he only found people to be intelligent who were good at potions.

"Well," Draco asked, "where are we?"

"The Underworld, of course," and with a slightly overdramatized flourish of his cloak, Snape strolled away from his students down the dark cave.

Rather than reflecting the ting of fear that Draco felt, he found Weasley to be looking a bit amused.

"We're not in the tale of Ishtar, are we?" she said, almost to herself.

Draco had no clue what she was referencing, but it seemed that Snape did for he turned around, mid-step, and looked at her as if she was a kitten that sudden had grown fangs and bitten him. Without a word, the professor turned away and continued.

This time so softly that Draco could barely hear her, Weasley spoke again, "Don't worry, professor, I'll try to keep my shirt on."

Before Draco could even react, she was hurrying to catch up with Snape. With nothing else he could do, he followed her.

The passage soon began to widen and the three soon found themselves at the edge of a huge river. All along their side were what Draco could only describe as shadows of people wandering the shores.

The Gryffindor's eyes widened and she turned accusingly at Snape, "We're in Hades, aren't we?"

"Of course."

"Well, what myth?" she asked.

"One of Heracles' tasks," Snape answered.

As if waiting for a summoning, a man came from the entrance behind them. Unlike the shades around them, he actually seemed alive. A boat appeared at the shore and the man approached the boatman. They began to speak in a different language.

"Who's Heracles'?" Draco asked.

By then Snape was heading towards the boat, so it was left up to Weasley to answer.

"Don't you pay attention in history?" Weasley asked, pulling off a decent sneer.

"Don't you pay attention in Potions?" he returned.

Weasley ignored him and followed the Potions Master. Once they were all on the boat and were waiting for the two characters of the story to finish their discussion, Weasley chose to answer him.

"You know how the wizarding race began, right?" she questioned. Draco shifted guiltily and she took that as an answer. "Don't you read anything?" she was disgusted. Rather than wait for his answer, she continued, "Anyways, in the beginning...," aft that she paused as if waiting for Draco to say something. When he didn't, she shook her head as if disappointed and spoke, "There were really two different people. Wizards and Muggles. Both sides were very different from what we have today. I mean, there's been so much intermingling-"

"Hey!" Draco felt as if he had been insulted, "I come from a long line of pureblooded wizards."

Weasley looked at him as if he had just said the most idiotic thing on the planet, "Did you hear what I just said? There are no such thing as purebloods. No one really knows how these two races started," she looked suspiciously at Snape, "only that there were these two extremes. Original wizards were so powerful, Muggles though them gods. But there was a downfall to this. Wizards rarely reproduce with each other. They could, however, have children with Muggles and they lived so long, there were a lot of half-breeds."

Draco had a look on his face of some that had just had all of his beliefs challenged in an instant. Weasley was not kind and continued, "I haven't read a lot of Greek wizarding history because the heros are a bit... crude, but I know the basics of Heracles."

The two men had finished their discussion by then and the boatman pushed off from shore. As they crossed the river, Weasley told what she could remember, "Alright. So that guy," she pointed to the boatman," is Cherion or something? He takes the dead in Hades, the Grecian underworld, across the River Styx if they have a coin to pay for it. That's why it's Greek custom to bury their dead with coins on their eyes, or in their mouth. If they are not, they are stuck on that side of the river. That guy," she pointed to the other man, "is Heracles. He's the son of the main Greek wizard, Zeus, and a muggle. Zeus's wife likes to try to kill Zeus's illegitimate children, so she drove Heracles mad and he killed his family. He had to do some number of tasks to make up for it. This is one of them."

"Good job, Miss Weasley," the girl jumped as if she hadn't known that Snape had been listening, "but you shouldn't ignore history just because you don't like it."

"I know," Weasley replied guiltily, "I did read it, it's just if I am going to reread something, I usually pick something that I like."

"Ishtar?" Snape offered.

Weasley by the fact that the boat had landed on the shore and they had no time to continue their conversation. The three followed Heracles off the boat, but as he tried to enter through the gate way, he fell as if Stupefied.

Draco froze, as if shocked as the guards came out and dragged Heracles away. "How did they do that?" he asked, "I didn't see wands or wards."

Weasley looked at him with pity, "I already told you. They are so far beyond our league. They don't need anything like that."

The Grecian hero was dragged to two people on thrones. They seemed to be in charge of the place so Draco asked, "And who are they?"

"Um...," Weasley thought for a moment, "Hades and...," she mumbled something like "Pera-something."

Draco looked at her suspiciously, "What did you say?"

She shifted, uncomfortable, "I can't remember her name, alright?"

He replied by rolling his eyes, "Whatever. What's happening?"

Weasley simple shrugged and the two turned to Snape. The professor scowled and after a moment, he gave up and answered, "Miss Weasley is correct. That is Hades, and his wife Persephone. They are Heracles' aunt and Uncle according to the myth. Miss Weasley has already gone over the basics; Heracles is the son of the main wizard, Zeus and a Muggle. After Heracles killed is family, he was sent to King Eurystheus to perform ten tasks, which actually ended up being twelve tasks. His last task was to capture Cerberus, the three-headed dog that guarded the gates to Hades. Since he was captured, he is now asking permission from his uncle."

"Does he get permission?" Draco asked.

"I believe he made some deal with Hades that allowed him to take the dog if he didn't harm him."

"Wait," it was Weasley's turn to ask a question, "a three-headed dog... like what Dumbledore used to guard the Philosopher's Stone?"

Snape ignored Draco's question of "What stone?" and queried, "How did you know about that?"

With a rather secretive smile, Weasley replied, "A few years ago, Ron had a phase where he want to be Watson to Harry's Holmes. I read a few of his stories. Awful stuff, if I must say."

Snape nodded with a completely straight face. Feeling as if most of the conversation was going over his head, Draco queried "Who's Watson and Holmes?"

The look Ginny gave him caused Draco to decide that he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing more than him. With a smirk, she said, "Honestly, Malfoy, don't you read anything other than Playwizard?"

"You can't expect him to know that," Snape answered instead as Heracles' conversation with the wizards ended and the three followed him down yet another tunnel.

"After all, it is Muggle literature."

At that moment Draco decided to make a list in his head of why his hatred of Weasley was growing by the second. Number one: She was so damn smug. But his thoughts where interrupted by the sight of a huge dog.

"How is he supposed to capture that?" Draco mused softly. Luckily, Weasley seemed to be in as much awe as he. But their doubts were in vain for Heracles had beaten then dog in less than ten minutes and was leading him back through the tunnels.

"I told you that wizards were much more powerful than they are today," Weasley said to Draco's surprise.

"But you said he was a half-blood," Draco insisted, "and he didn't even have a wand!"

Weasley seemed to being taking a leaf from Snape's book for she just smiled and followed the hero down the hall. They went back the same way they came and as soon as Heracles passed the place where they arrived, Draco found himself back in Snape's office with Weasley and the Potion's Master.

"I hope you've learned your lesson," Snape aimed his retort at both students.

"It was Weasley's fault," Draco muttered and the red-head glared at him.

"Can you please separate us?" Weasley pleaded, "We're obviously a horrid combination."

Being the cruel man that he was, Snape replied, "I think you two do rather well together," and if that wasn't enough, he continued with, "and since Mr. Malfoy seemed to have a questionable History, I think I'll speak to Professor Binns about having Miss Weasley help you with your work."

The Gryffindor and Slytherin looked at him and ill-concealed shock and after a moment of pure silence, they both broke in with complaints.

"But professor-"

"I can't work with her-"

"-and ignorant, prejudice-"

"-completely mental-"

But Snape simply forced them out of the office and shut the door behind them.


	2. In Which Draco Gets To Act

"This is all your fault, you know."

Weasley looked up from sixth year history book before asking, dryly, "And how did you figure that out?"

Draco flipped another page over on the book he was holding before he continued, "Well, obviously you pissed him off. Why else would he be subjecting you to this?"

Weasley did a rather weasel-like growl, "Then why did Snape assign you to tutor me? Did you ever thing this could be your fault?"

Truthfully, Draco had thought of that possibility but he hadn't pissed the professor off lately. Unless Aunt Bella was right, and Draco expected her paranoia had come from the long years in Azkaban, Snape had no reason to punish him.

"Nope, no possibility of that," Draco replied, "he probably knew I was the only one that could stand prolonged exposure to you without murdering you."

Weasley looked at him as if she was planning to murder him, then sighed and shook her head, "Who's Morgan le Fay?"

Draco was startled by the change of subject, but quickly skimmed though the mental notes he had on the latest historical subject. "Um...," he filled the silence as he though and he could see Weasley looking proud of the fact that he didn't know the answer. He couldn't give her that satisfaction, and luckily he had just come upon the answer, "Right. Morgan le Fay was a witch in the fifth century that helped the Muggle King Arthur. She was called 'the Fay' because the Muggles thought that she was one of the fair folk. However, in the... uh... tenth? century when the Muggles were writing down the story, they changed her to being evil, due to fear of magic and totally ignore how she helped them, and added that she was Arthur's half-sister."

The red-head looked slightly disappointed that he had gotten in right, but she did have one correction, "It was the eleventh century, not tenth."

Draco waved it off, "Whatever. Your turn. What are the properties of hellebore?"

Weasley answered quicker than he did,"It's a Mediterranean plant that can be used to cure magically-induced madness. Score!"

"Fine," he mumbled, "but that was easier. What's my question?"

Weasley looked at the clock and spoke, "Actually, my torture is over. Time's up." She closed the book, handed it back to him and grabbed her potions manual.

"Where are you going?" he questioned as she stuffed everything in her book bag.

"Nowhere," Weasley answered evasively.

Now he had to find out. He packed up and followed her out of the abandoned classroom. After a few steps she paused, "Are you following me?"

"I thought it was my Prefectly duty to make sure you weren't getting into trouble." Or going to clandestine meets for the DA.

She looked annoyed, but continued on her way. The path was through hallways to a part of the castle he rarely went to. Thoroughly confused, Draco was relieved when she finally slipped through the door to what Draco had assumed to be an abandon classroom.

Now convinced that she was going to a Super!Secret meeting, Draco suddenly stopped when he looked in the room. It was not what he expected.

Instead of a room, there where rows and chairs all facing some sort of stage. The stage was cover in clouds with two thrones, and even more surprising, there were students running all over with props and costumes.

"What the hell-?"

"It's drama club," Weasley reluctantly admitted.

"We have a drama club?" Draco was astounded.

"Yup," now Weasley was starting to be amused by his discomfort. He sneered at her, but she continued, "It's pretty much on the down-low. Only the members and those who come to the shows really know it exist."

Before she continued, a Hufflepuff interrupted, "Ginny, were the hell have you been?"

Ginny made a face, "Crap, it's dress, isn't it? I've been getting tutored by this git."

The Hufflepuff, which Draco now recognize as the niece of Amelia Bones, looked at him in confusion,"Malfoy? What are you doing here?"

Draco shifted uncomfortably, but before he could answered, Weasley spoke.

"As I said, he followed me."

Bones got an evil glint in her eyes and she reply, "Really? Well Seamus is in detention again and I was worried, since you know none of the techies ever want to be on stage..."

Weasley looked thoughtful, "He might as well be useful..."

The Slytherin was starting to panic because he was sure they were taking about him, but he didn't understand a word they were saying.

"What do you think?" Bones finally turned to him.

"About what?" Draco asked.

The Hufflepuff's face echoed the look of scorn that was so prevalent on Weasley's face, "About being our Narcissus. Seamus is supposed to play him, but we need a replacement for today."

"Who's Narcissus?"

Weasley sighed, "Let me explain in terms that you'd understand. We are putting on a play about Narcissus and Echo. Seamus is gone. All of the other boys are cowards. Do you want to read lines for today?"

Draco looked at her suspiciously as if the easy thing she was suggesting was a trap, "I suppose I could."

"Good," Weasley gushed, "Now I have to go get in costume."

The redhead flew off before Draco could reconsider, leaving him with Bones. She looked thoughtfully at him.

"Most of the cast and crew is busy," she mused, "Give me a minute..." Her eyes wandered and lit up when she landed on the person in question, "Neville!"

The girl literally dragged him to where the Gryffindor was standing. "Neville, are you done with your work? Could you do me a favor?" she asked.

Longbottom looked up from the conversation he was having with a Ravenclaw. "I'm just about done," he answered, "and Luna could finish the rest." He did a double-take and looked at Draco, "What is Malfoy doing here?"

"He seemed to have followed Ginny here," Bones answered, "and has kindly agreed to fill in for Seamus unlike you cowards."

Longbottom uncharacteristically rolled his eyes. Draco wonder what on earth this club was doing to what he though were shy, quiet, nice kids.

"Just watch him and explain what he needs to do," Bones continued.

"Fine," was the answer. Bones smiled and left Draco with the Gryffindor.

"What is this play about?" Draco questioned hopefully, "Who did I volunteer to play?"

By then, the blonde Ravenclaw had wandered off and they were left alone.

"Did Ginny tell you nothing?"

"Uh, no," Draco replied a little shiftily, "I kinda got press-ganged into all of this."

Longbottom looked at him oddly, "I see. Well, the story of Narcissus and Echo is a Greek myth-"

"Not another one!" Draco interrupted.

"Another one?" now her was looking as if Draco was the weird one, "What are you talking about?"

"Weasley didn't tell you?" Draco questioned.

"First of all, I have no idea which Weasley you are talking about; after all there are seven of them. Secondly, no, I don't know about anything. Can I get back to the plot?"

Draco was a bit confused since he had expect Weasley to tell everyone but he nodded anyway.

"Good. Basically the story is about-"

But Longbottom was interrupted again, this time by someone Draco knew.

"Neville-"

"Astoria?"

"Draco? What are you doing here," the younger Slytherin asked. She was dressed rather oddly, wrapped up in a bathrobe with glittering hair and makeup.

"I was tutoring Weasley and then I was press-ganged into this," Draco explained. "What are you doing here?"

"Which Weasley?" Astoria also mused softly, "Wait, Ginny?" She paused so that he could nodded and once she had gotten in nod in reply, she continued, "What happens in Drama club stays in Drama club," Astoria answered, then looked at Longbottom as if they were sharing a joke. Draco looked at them as if they were insane.

"Anyways, now I've got to explain everything to him," Longbottom concluded.

"Awesome," Astoria alliterately answered, "I just came to ask a favour. When the other nymphs leave, can you tone the special effects down a bit? Maybe make them a bit tragic like that whatever moth rather than cheerful butterfly?"

Longbottom looked confused by the moth comment but said, "Sure."

With that Astoria fluttered away and Draco was once again alone with Longbottom. The Gryffindor looked worriedly, "Shoot. We don't have enough time for me to explain in detail. Basically Astoria's character is cursed by Hera-- the main witch/goddess," as if Draco didn't know that, "and she ends up falling for your character. But you dismiss her and she wastes away and in vengeance, Ginny with curse you to fall in love with your reflection and you'll waste away."

"Ah," Draco tried to sort out his emotions, "how depressing."

Longbottom sighed, "What can I say, drama kids love tragedies," he said as if that explained it all.

He led Draco to a messy part of the room that looked as if all of the students had left their stuff there. After carefully rummaging and an "Ah ha!", Longbottom pulled out a wrinkled scripted.

"Here," he gave Draco the parchment, "just read off of this and you'l do fine." Liar.

Longbottom then led the Slytherin through a maze of people to a group of girls who were wear... well, costumes that covered up quite a lot for looking like so little.

"Here are the nymphs," Longbottom explained. He point to one and said, "Alice can make sure you're on stage when you need to be. Girls, this is Draco. He's filling in for Seamus today."

Like colourful birds they flocked around him and Longbottom, the complete ass that he was, left Draco with the terrifying beings. They all introduced themselves, but Draco was too busy trying to keep tract of Alice to remember. Luckily, Astoria returned, now dressed like the other girls.

"Good, Neville got you here. Susan's having us start in a few."

That reminded Draco about the script and in a burst of panic he thumbed through the parchment and at the point he had finally found his name, Bones had called for the beginning of the show.

"Stay here," Astoria advised as the girls got ready, "the others will be back to tell you when to go on stage."

With that, the gaggle left him all alone.

Draco watched the first scene from the wings of the stage. The group of nymphs slowly walked across the stage, gossiping. The stage had completely transformed with whatever spells Longbottom's crew had put on it. There were floating cloud and some sort of terrifying stature now sitting one of the thrones. When only Astoria and a couple other nymphs were left, the statue revealed himself to be Zeus. When the actor began to speak, the entire room began to rumble. Unaware that most of of it was magically manufactured, Draco jumped when Zeus spoke. The actor beckoned Astoria and the other nymphs left. Zeus commanded her to keep his wife distract when he left, and Astoria played the reluctant nymph. Finally, she was convinced and the two left the stage.

The next scene had the same setting. This time it was Astoria and Hera. Astoria was gossiping and keeping Hera from looking for Zeus and finally the witch hit the end.

The special effects for the curse were rather interesting. The stage changed colours and Hera told Astoria that the only words she would be allowed to say were the last word of the speaker before her.

By then the other nymphs had returned to Draco. "Are you ready for your scene?" the one Draco was sure was Alice asked.

Draco may have paled a bit but he nodded. "By the way," he whispered back, "your outfits are interesting." He was referring to the fact that their costumes seemed to move and grow when they were on stage.

Alice giggled, "Isn't it great? Neville thought of it. Wait till you see Ginny's!"

Before Draco could reply, the scene before them had ended and suddenly everyone was running on stage and moving the set. A second after they got off, the lights went up.

There was a slight pause, then Draco could hear Bones call out, "Where the hell is the pond?"

There were a few laughters and someone replied, "Sorry, that's usually Seamus's job."

Someone dragged the object onto the stage and the scene began. Alice counted to three softly then pushed Draco on stage.

"Gossip, flirt, pretend to talk," she hissed at him as the nymphs followed him. The girls fluttered around him and they pretended to talk.

Halfway on the stage, Alice elbowed him which Draco took as a sign for his first line. Draco skimmed the page he was holding until he found the line. "Uh, sorry ladies, but I'm not interested," he said awkwardly. The girls pouted, but left the stage. According to the scripted, Draco was just supposed to wander, so that was what he did. Until he heard the telltale rustle.

"Hello?" he read.

"Hello?" Astoria echoed.

The scene continued on like that with Draco trying to find the source of the voice.

Finally, he commanded, "Show yourself!"

"Yourself!" Astoria came out into the open.

"Just another nymph," he sneered.

"Nymph," Astoria sobbed.

"Go away!" Draco yelled and Astoria ran off the stage.

According to the script, he was supposed to freeze looking in the direction that Astoria left as Weasley came on and spoke and so he did.

Out of the corner of his eye, Draco watched Weasley and he admitted that Alice was right; the costume was rather terrifying. She spoke of how Echo now lost in a cave, doomed to forever repeat what people say. At that point, a part of the stage lit up to show Astoria crying and echoing. Then Weasley continued to explain how she cursed Draco, as he got to badly act this out, to fall in love with his reflect and starve to death. As she ended the monologue, the lights turned down and at the last word, applause rang out.

"Good," Bones admitted, "but I want to see a few scene again."

The cast followed her instructions and they repeated the scenes until Draco had them memorized. Finally, as Alice and Draco were discussing the best distraction so that they could make a run for it, Bones called a halt.

"I guess that was fine for now," Bones told them, "so clean up and you can leave. I'll post my comments the usual way."

In the flurry to take everything down, a confused Draco was left alone. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" Weasley interrupted his thoughts.

"It wasn't terrible," Draco answered.

Weasley grinned, "So are you going to come back?"

Draco thought for a moment, "Well, you don't seem to have enough Slytherins, I might have to just to make sure my House is properly represented."

"Great, I'm sure Susan would have hunted you down otherwise," she told him, "and Astoria's different from your Slytherins. She got in on genes, not character."

"Jeans?" Draco queried.

Weasley rolled her eyes, "Family."

"So this is some sort Gryffindor run club," he said, "I bet your brothers come every show."

She bursted with laughter, "Hell no, I haven't even told them. I suppose I got into Gryffindor based on family too. We're just a bunch of misfits."

"Since you're invited me in, then am I a misfit?"

"No," Weasley shook her head, "you're too much of a Slytherin."

"So I'm cunning?"

"You're an ass."

"I'm hurt," Draco replied dryly.

"Good," Weasley replied, starting to walk away, "See you tomorrow."


End file.
